If you do decide to choose a New Year’s resolution, try and pick something manageable. Choosing to make small, positive changes can benefit your mental health and confidence as they’re easier to keep up. Plus, they enable you to focus on doing something rather than giving up.
1. Commit to Kinder Self-Talk
We all have a voice in our head, constantly narrating throughout our day and reacting to what’s in front of us. This voice also shapes our self-identity and how we feel about ourselves. When was the last time you examined how that voice is speaking to you?
For many of us, our default self-talk is critical and negative. We are quick to judge ourselves, berate ourselves for our mistakes, and focus on what we perceive to be wrong with us. Instead of being our own biggest cheerleader, we end up discouraging ourselves — which in turn makes things more difficult to accomplish, and a vicious cycle is created.
Luckily, with some effort, we can gently shift our self-talk to be kinder and more compassionate. In the new year, when you notice the voice in your head being harsh, take a moment to recognize what’s happening. Next, try to reframe the thought; it can often be helpful here to think about what you would say to a close friend in the same situation.
With time, “I’m so stupid” can morph into “I’m learning and growing.” “I always mess up” can become “Everyone makes mistakes.” And “I can’t do this” can shift to “This is hard, and all I can do is my best.”
2. Practice Gratitude
No matter your individual situation, this year was likely more difficult for you and your mental health than the average year. Even amidst loss, uncertainty, and anxiety, we can still find ways to practice gratitude for all the good in our lives.
Practicing gratitude has a host of proven benefits, including decreased stress, and increased resilience, happiness, and self-esteem. It’s also been linked to improved relationships and better physical health.
Practicing gratitude can take a variety of forms, so find one that works for you. The key here is to do something that doesn’t become a chore, but instead evokes true feelings of thankfulness. This could be something like writing down 1-3 things you’re grateful for each morning or night, writing thank you notes to the special people in your life, or doing a gratitude-focused meditation.
3. Learn to Say No
Our time and energy are our most precious resources. With that in mind, think about how you want to expend these resources in the new year. Which activities, people, and interests are your priorities?
Once you’ve figured out what you want to focus on, there will inevitably be other things that compete for your attention. This is where the skill of saying “no,” firmly and kindly, becomes key.
You have a right to say no. To invitations, to requests, to anything that you don’t have space for at the moment. Many of us have been conditioned to seek approval from others at all costs, but people-pleasing is a surefire way to burn out quickly. Instead, take a moment to think it over before saying “yes” right away to something.
It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to explain or qualify your no’s if you don’t want to. People may try to guilt you for your decisions, but you can stand firm, knowing that everyone has the right to politely decline something they don’t have the time for or don’t wish to do.
4. Try something new or develop an existing skill
Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn an instrument? Or perhaps you want to work on your conversation skills?
Taking up a new hobby or making a pledge to improve a skill can be a great confidence-booster! It can also be a good way of meeting new people and giving you something to look forward to in the week.
However, it’s important to avoid putting pressure on yourself to be ‘perfect’ – remind yourself that no-one can master a skill straight away, learning takes time and making mistakes helps you improve.
5. Practice Self Care
Self-care comes in many forms.
For some, it’s a nice long bubble bath with a lit candle and relaxing music. For others, it’s a face mask, chocolate and their favourite comedy movie.
But self-care isn’t just about pampering. It can also be reading a book, meditating, going for a run or even just saying no to things that you don’t want to do.
Whatever self-care means to you, know that it is not selfish. It’s important to look after your mental wellbeing in the best way you know how, so make time for yourself next year.
6. Be more trusting
People who suffer from loneliness or mental health problems such as depression and anxiety can often isolate themselves from friends and family, according to research by the Mental Health Foundation.
If you’re having a bad time, seek support. Try to be more trusting and know that there are people who love you and will be there for you.
A coffee with a friend can do wonders for your mental health, and can make you feel less alone.
You may even discover that things aren’t as bad as they seem, and even if they are, at least you have someone to talk to about it, who will hopefully understand and try to help.
7. Limit your time on social media
Research has shown that social media can negatively impact our mental health, so it might be worth limiting time on apps or even cutting them out of your life completely in the new year.
Social media can heighten anxiety by increasing your ability to keep up to date with the activities of other people, which may cause you to develop Fear of Missing Out (FOMO). This in turn can make you obsess about what other people are doing – or even make yourself feel bad because you’re not doing that specific thing.
Apps like Instagram only paint a small picture of someone’s life, many of whom only post the good things and never the bad, but try not to compare your life with others online.
It might be healthier to take a step back from this false sense of reality this new year.
8. Prioritize Joy
Sometimes we get so caught up in the repetition of our daily routines, or are hyper-focused on our obligations, that we forget to engage in activities that bring us true joy.
Prioritizing joy looks different for everyone, and it could be as simple as listening to a song you love in the car or making yourself a cup of tea before you go to bed. It might look like spending time in nature, reading a great book, or calling an old friend. Maybe it means picking up a new hobby — like art or music — or watching your favorite comfort movie or TV show.
Actively working to cultivate joy reminds us just how fun and special life can be, not just on the weekends or when we’re on vacation, but everyday. Joy can arise spontaneously and surprise us, and this is a delight, but we can also be intentional in trying to infuse more joy into each day.
9. You are what you eat
We’re not talking about making big diet resolutions based on the scales (ick) – though if you do want to make a change like this, focusing instead on making healthier choices for a happier lifestyle is the way to go (though if you’re thinking about making changes, focusing on making healthier choices for a happier lifestyle is key).
What we eat can have a huge impact on both our physical and mental health. More and more research is showing the impact that food can have on our overall mental wellbeing, as well as on specific mental illnesses including depression and anxiety. Ensuring that you eat a balanced, nutrient-rich diet can increase your energy levels, help you think more clearly, as well as boosting your mood.
10. Ask for Help
Finally, recognize that in the new year, you don’t have to do it all alone. We are social creatures; we are meant to be connected to each other and work interdependently. Instead of shouldering everything yourself, think about who might be able to help.
Many of us often feel timid or embarrassed when asking someone if they can drive us to the airport, call us tonight to talk through a big decision, or any other number of requests for help. Just as people have the right to say no if they can’t or don’t wish to help at the moment (as was mentioned earlier), you have every right to ask. You and your needs are not a burden, and there are likely many people in your life who would love to help you when given the chance.
And if you’re struggling with your mental health and support from loved ones isn’t enough, seeking out professional help is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself. Consider reaching out to a licensed Family First Counseling Center therapist a resolution that can help you start feeling better today.
As we move through the new year and work on improving ourselves and our mental health, remember that we are all in works in progress, and we always will be. Our wellness isn’t a box we check or goal we reach; instead, it’s a practice we commit to, mess up, and start again. With some intention, reflection, and help from those who love us, we can face this year with all our messiness and imperfections — and know that we are already more than enough.
