The best relationship advice. Since we are naturally social, we need to be careful and cautious to protect the exclusive relationship we have with our spouse or committed relationship partner. If we are not careful, and we break the trust, we may end up ruining everything that is of importance to us.
Avoid the following behaviors
Marriage counselors and relationship experts have seen it all, from the good to the bad. Here’s some spot-on relationship advice the experts give to their clients.
Sharing personal feelings
Intimacy is letting another person know about very deep parts of yourself which exist on many different levels. Your intimacy door should be open only to your husband, wife or committed partner. Of course, sharing with family and friends who care and love you is legitimate. Doing so should be a natural byproduct of a healthy and ongoing loving relationship with your husband, wife or partner, but there are still boundaries.
Talking about the relationship you have with your partner
If you share details about your intimate relationship with your husband, wife or partner, this is a violation of privacy and trust of the intimacy you have with your partner. The definition of intimacy implies a sanctity, a sacred secret, between you and your partner that is not shared with others.
Giving gifts or money
Gifts is a symbolic gesture of affection and caring. Giving a gift to a friend or co-worker of opposite gender is an invitation to step beyond the appropriate boundaries that protect your primary relationship.
Private meals together
Secluding oneself when out of town with a person of the opposite gender is like combining fire and gasoline — you know what is going to happen. Once such a meeting has been arranged, the outcome is already known. You are now on a slippery slope into the embrace of infidelity.
Phone calls, text messaging, emails, or social media of a personal nature
Taking personal calls or other forms of communication from a person behind your husband’s, wife’s or partner’s back qualifies as a betrayal. People don’t fall in love without first becoming involved and entangled with each other. Talking is a precursor to emotional attachment.
Doing a favor for another person is an act of kindness. The majority of your favors should be done for your partner and family members. If you find yourself committing many acts of kindness with another person you could become romantically attached to him or her. You are headed in the wrong direction.
Protect your most valuable asset, your committed relationship and your family. Remain loyal and faithful to your partner. To do otherwise, is relationship suicidal.
E-book: How The Best Marriages Work
In general, one of the surest signs that you are betraying your partner is when you conceal the activities that you are having with a person with whom you could potentially have a romantic relationship.
If you find yourself tempted to lie about activities with another person who could be a threat to your marriage or committed relationship, or you have already done this and lied about it, this is proof-positive that you are rapidly accelerating along the Infidelity Highway.
You probably already know not to go to bed angry and that communication is key, but there are plenty more tried-and-true relationship tips to glean.
Respect each other’s minds
“You and your partner have two completely different minds that have been constructed over decades of time and continue to evolve,” says Steven Dziedzic, founder of the Lasting app. “That means you’ll think and feel differently about practically everything and find yourselves in disagreements, both big and small.
That’s also why, in a conflict, the objective isn’t to ‘win,’ like many think—it’s to understand your partner’s perspective.” Dziedzic also encourages couples to keep in mind that your partner’s opinion is valid and worthy of respect, even when you’re tempted to think it’s not. “In a relationship, one of your most important jobs is to make consistent attempts to better understand what your partner is thinking and why,” says Dziedzic. “The more knowledge you have about your partner, the more resilient your relationship can become.”
Find a safe space
“When both people want it to work, it’s only a matter of finding a common ground and a common language, a safe space, where the friction of the relationship can be resolved,” says Cynthia Chauvin Miles, a certified hypnotherapist (CHT) specializing in relationships and author.
“Oftentimes this space and communication style ends up happening in therapy, but if couples can invent that in their relationship beforehand, counseling is both easier and more often than not, not needed. My husband and I call it ‘drive time.’ We have our best conversations and make the most progress driving through rural areas where we’re both focused and relaxed at the same time.”
Invest in your partner
“Relationships have a strong chance of surviving when they are based on ‘the good’ in the other person, where both partners work together to feed that good and are inspired to become better themselves,” says Suzie Pileggi Pawelski, author of Happy Together. “These relationships are more sustainable than those based simply on pure pleasure or usefulness, because they’re based on what partners actively put into them—rather than what they can get out of them.”
Don’t forget about you
“Make sure both partners maintain some of their individual activities, interests, and friends they had before they got together,” adds Pileggi Pawelski. “This doesn’t mean they don’t engage in activities with their partner or invite their spouse out with their friends. It just means they don’t feel obligated to do everything with their partner. [Our] research shows that interdependence, not dependence, is associated with satisfying and successful relationships.”
Relationship advice is great, but don’t forget: what works for some may not work for all. Like snowflakes, no two relationships are alike, and the approach you take has to be right for the two of you. If the relationship tips provided by the experts and real couples don’t fix your needs, tweak them, work together to develop your own ideas or look to professional help