WHAT IS BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Bipolar disorder, formerly known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain and behavior disorder characterized by severe shifts in a person’s mood and energy, making it difficult for the person to function. More than 5.7 million American adults or 2.6 percent of the population age 18 or older in any given year have bipolar disorder. The condition typically starts in late adolescence or early adulthood, although it can show up in children and in older adults. People often live with the disorder without having it properly diagnosed and treated.
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Bipolar disorder causes repeated mood swings, or episodes, that can make someone feel very high (mania) or very low (depressive). The cyclic episodes are punctuated by normal moods.
Mania Episode Signs and Symptoms:
- Increased energy, activity, restlessness
- Euphoric mood
- Extreme irritability
- Poor concentration
- Racing thoughts, fast talking, jumping between ideas
- Sleeplessness
- Heightened sense of self-importance
- Spending sprees
- Increased sexual behavior
- Abuse of drugs, such as cocaine, alcohol and sleeping medications
- Provocative, intrusive or aggressive behavior
- Denial that anything is wrong
Depressive Episode Signs:
- Sad, anxious or empty-feeling mood
- Feelings of hopelessness and pessimism
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness and helplessness
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed, including sex
- Decreased energy, fatigue
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering or making decisions
- Restlessness and irritability
- Sleeplessness or sleeping too much
- Change in appetite, unintended weight loss or gain
- Bodily symptoms not caused by physical illness or injury
- Thoughts of death or suicide
RELATIONSHIPS WITH BIPOLAR
Just when you think things are going well for you and your loved one, your partner enters a manic phase and the rug is pulled out from underneath both of you and your worlds are upside down. As someone living with a significant other with bipolar disorder, not only is it a challenge for the individual, but also for their family, friends.
The disorder also has positive aspects. People with bipolar disorder may exhibit “high creativity, at times, high energy, that allows them to be original and thoughtful,” said Dr. Saltz. She noted that many CEOs have bipolar disorder and share these attributes.
While the disorder has no cure, treatment can effectively manage symptoms and help to maintain stability. This can make it easier to carry on relationships and to promote long, healthy partnerships.
When to get professional help
Guilt and shame needs to be confronted and discussed with your behavioral professional. As the partner or child, you feel a great sense of guilt that you cannot do more for the one affected with bipolar. Helplessness turns into guilt, which is not an emotion you want to deal with alone. When this feeling sets in, it is time to get professional counseling. There is nothing to be shamed about, remember it is a disease that can passed on from one generation to another. Your behavior as a parent, husband, wife or sibling is not responsible for their bipolar disease.
One other feeling you need to confront is “giving up” and the desire to leave the situation. Running from a problem is an option, but never a solution. You may have these thoughts, but you need to discuss them with a professional counselor. I am aware of a number of divorces in which the wife or husband could not cope and abandoned their significant other. You need to marshal your resources, stay the course and fight this disease. When the opportunity presents itself, step up and help someone who needs help. Sharing your strength with your loved one is critical, but you need to save some for yourself. One day someone will step up for you.
You can absolutely have a healthy, happy relationship with a partner who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
The condition may bring both positive and challenging aspects to the relationship, but you can take steps to support your partner and to help them manage their symptoms.
Remember the disease is the “enemy” not your loved one. Fight the disease, but embrace your loved one, let them know you are there for them and understand they are the one suffering. This is a battle that you will eventually win. Research into bipolar is ongoing and there will always be new drugs that will help fight this disease. This is not a race, but a marathon.
Ask for Help
Many of us often feel timid or embarrassed when asking someone if they can drive us to the airport, call us tonight to talk through a big decision, or any other number of requests for help. Just as people have the right to say no if they can’t or don’t wish to help at the moment (as was mentioned earlier), you have every right to ask. You and your needs are not a burden, and there are likely many people in your life who would love to help you when given the chance.
And if you’re struggling with your mental health and support from loved ones isn’t enough, seeking out professional help is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself. Consider reaching out to a licensed Family First Counseling Center therapist that can help you start feeling better today.
